The other night while solo parenting, right when I got dinner ready, everything felt like chaos. One kid was hangry and sobbing because dinner wasn't ready fast enough. Another was attempting an American Ninja Warrior routine on the back of the couch, inches from a trip to the ER (and let's be honest that's the last place I wanted to be with Ev). The third was in the mudroom, devastated over a broken toy that she couldn't fix.
And there I was. In the middle of it. Running from one fire to the next, overwhelmed, under-patient, stretched way too thin after the day. Trying to meet everyone's needs and feeling like I was failing them all.
In the middle of that swirl - messy house, noisy cries, my own frayed nerves I had this unexpected thought:
"Is this how God feels watching us?"
We're all running around down here - some of us hangry and disappointed with unmet desires. Some trying to prove something, jumping off metaphorical furniture, pushing limits, testing boundaries. Some sobbing in the corner over something that broke - something we were never equipped to fix on our own.
And He sees it all.
But unlike me in that moment. Flustered and frantic and having my nervous system about to explode thanks to Maycember.
He's not overwhelmed by our chaos.
He's not flinching at our emotions.
He's not rolling His eyes at our meltdowns.
He's not distant or frustrated that we need Him at the same time.
He's present.
Patient.
Able.
Kind.
And most of all, He doesn't expect us to get it all together before coming to Him.
He welcomes us mid-mess.
Mid-breakdown.
Mid-broken-toy-in-the-mudroom.
And the other night, that reminder quieted something in me. If He can hold the whole world in His hands, I can hand over my world, my home, my kids, my stress, my inadequacy and let Him hold that, too.
Mama, if you're in a season of constant chaos, remember:
God doesn't need perfection to meet you. He just needs permission.
Let Him in, right in the middle of the crazy.
