I'm a Low Tox Mom. and Sometimes We Eat Drive-Thru.
Let's talk about what 80/20 really means (and why you're probably doing better than you think)
I've been living a low-tox lifestyle for over a decade. And truthfully? We live in a pretty solid 80/20 rhythm over here.
80% of the time it's:
Herbal tinctures
Home-cooked meals
Ingredient swaps
Clean(er) beauty + cleaning products
Thoughtful choices
But the other 20%? It's frozen pizza. It's drive-thru burgers after a long day. It's bath bombs with glitter. It's Doritos at school. And I have zero shame about that.
Sometimes we're more 70/30. Sometimes we're closer to 90/10.
When my son Everett was in the hospital, we were living 50/50 - and that was grace-filled survival mode. Because life changes. Budgets shift. Energy levels fluctuate. And sometimes being well means being kind to yourself.
Let me be clear:
I'm informed. I'm intentional. I've done the research - a lot of it. Not just surface-level stuff. I've spent years researching ingredients, reading court filings, and dissecting industry loopholes - thanks to my background in corporate law, I've seen how this all works behind closed doors.
I don't just regurgitate fear-based content. I read the fine print. I ask questions. I think critically. And I want you to feel empowered to do the same - without panic, guilt, or fear.
My goal here?
To meet you where you are, not judge where you've been. Low-tox living is a spectrum, not a binary. It's not "toxic" or "perfect." It's nuance. And if 80/20 doesn't feel like enough right now - that's okay. You may need 100% because of a health crisis or deep conviction.
But one day? 80/20 might be the grace-filled, sustainable rhythm you didn't know you needed. Maybe it will become your survival mode. And when that season comes, I'll still be here, cheering you on. This might surprise you.
But sometimes I look back at posts I made 3, 4, 5 years ago and I cringe. The "I would NEVER let my kids have _" tone. I used to believe Tylenol was always a "no". until I had a medically complex child who couldn't tolerate ibuprofen, and Tylenol was one of the only options left.
That moment rocked me. It reminded me:
Multiple things can be true at once.
We've forgotten that.
We've forgotten nuance.
We've confused privilege with righteousness.
And honestly? Saying, "Most people can't afford the best non-toxic swaps" isn't playing the victim - it's naming reality.
Lately I see newer accounts saying things like:
"I would NEVER use ___."
"If you were really educated, you'd know _ is toxic."
"Only — is acceptable."
And it's hard for me - because I used to be that account.
Clickbait grows. Harsh statements get shared. And you think you're helping. but really, you're just creating fear and shame.
If I could go back, I'd shake that girl gently by the shoulders and ask:
"What's your real goal here?"
To empower? Or to prove?
Because there's a difference. And people can feel it. We don't have to educate by tearing people apart. You don't have to shame someone into swapping their mascara. You don't need to weaponize wellness.
What you can do:
→ Share information without superiority
→ Respect different budgets and seasons
→ Be honest about your own evolution
You can be passionate and compassionate.
You can care deeply and stay soft. This is what sustainable, low-tox living really looks like.
Also, I don't share everything on social media.
Behind the scenes:
→ Everett, my medical baby, has very strict ingredient rules.
→ Bennett, my 4-year-old, doesn't get artificial dyes, and l hard-limit folic acid in processed foods - because I know it impacts him and his MTHFR.
→ Merritt, my 6-year-old, processes things differently - and so I'm more relaxed with her.
You only see a sliver of anyone's life online.
If my 80/20 looks different than yours, that's okay. Only you know what's right for your family behind closed doors. And yes - I still get comments like: "Wow, you think silicone is okay? Don't you know how toxic it gets when heated or frozen?" (Btw, I have an entire post you can read about silicone here).
I get it. I used to say things like that too. But now? I pause and ask:
Are we repeating what we heard on a reel or have we actually read the research?
Science isn't scary. Discernment isn't radical.
We need less parroting and more thoughtful conversation.
So here's where I land:
→ I pray over our food.
→ I trust God's design for our bodies.
→ I do the best I can with our budget, capacity, and season.
And I believe with my whole heart:
Your small swaps matter.
Your effort matters.
YOU matter.
Low tox living is a spectrum.
It's not about perfection.
It's not about shame.
It's not about who's crunchier.
It's about making empowered, educated choices - one step at a time. You're doing better than you think.
And I'm so glad you're here.
